The Trench Commandments – Buzzard Style
1.
Though shalt heed none other than the
TrenchMaster
2.
Keep your water bottle under your wing and
thirst not
3.
Keep a cap on you crown lest you sizzle your
synapses
4.
If you gotta-go, go, but you don’t guano go and
leave a mess behind
5.
Keep your tail feathers off the walls lest ye
knock down stones
6.
Keep you talons and your tools off the scarp
lest ye crumble its perfect line
7.
Keep your naked claws off the charcoal samples
for surely you will contaminate its ancient purity with your base pairs of DNA
8.
Peck a trench – not a hole … (unless the
TrenchMaster tells you to dig out a pit)
9.
Peck with care for gouging goddesses and
shattering their sacred vessels offendeth the TrenchMaster
10.
Keep one eye out for the flying picks of others
and one on your own, lest you gouge or be gouged
11.
Expose not the treasures of the ancients to
outsiders who may covet their beauty for the sake of a quick sale
12.
Fling not your dirt (or bones or shards) into
the wrong bucket, lest you sorely grieve the TrenchMaster
13.
Pollute not your trench, your site, or your nest
with your garbage and plastic for you will incur the wrath of your nestlings
and neighbours
14.
Never trust a stone in a scarp without the
blessings of the TrenchMaster … it can let you down and you will be sorely
bruised.
15.
Keep your beak out of the Ozo bottle until the
last shard is out of its bath
16.
Your
pottery washing is not done until everyone’s pottery washing is done
17.
Never dis a purple idea … remember human flight was
once a purple idea
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